Originally posted in BobbyQuitain.Com.
by Bobby Quitain
A man once called the emergency line of a hospital…
Man: Nurse, please send an ambulance. My wife is about to give birth.
Nurse: Is this her first baby?
Man: No, this is her husband.
How often are we victimized by this scoundrel? It happens in our marriages, work places, friendships and even in churches. It breaks agreements as well as hearts. It clouds reason and encourages insensitivity. It slithers its way into our boardrooms as well as our bedrooms.
In recent years, I realized that many disagreements and broken relationships are not brought about by malicious intents but simply by a breakdown in communication. Miscommunication brings about wrong presumptions and undeserved expectations.
What worked for me is this: Whenever I get offended or slighted by what seemed to me like an unfair situation, I decide to pause and try to see the other from God’s eyes.
“Surely, he didn’t mean it.” I tell myself. “He always had a good heart. There must be some miscommunication somewhere… “.
Today, take a good look at your relationships. Are there any relationships that need some mending? Are there issues that need some clarification? Are there situations that would need some closure?
Decide to take steps this week to bridge some gaps by communicating. Really communicating. Without pretension. Without judging. Without prejudice. Just talking from the heart. And when we do, say a prayer that the Holy Spirit will take over and take it from there for you.
Originally written in TACKED THOUGHTS for The Freeman
by Nancy Unchuan Toledo
One of the many life skills that I feel most grateful for is driving a car. A part of me always feels more adult and more empowered when I drive myself to run errands. And I’ve often found my alone time driving being very therapeutic. The time I drive is when I run through the events at the end of the day, when I make plans, when I pray, when I rack my brain for topics for my next article. Interestingly enough, this particular life skill has taught me many skills about life, as well. As I was driving home the other day, wondering what to write about for this week, I thought about the three favorite lessons I learned from, well, learning how to drive.
Lesson No. 1. When my cousin (very patiently and calmly, I might add) first taught me how to drive, he noticed that whenever I would come upon an unusually small road with incoming traffic, I would get tense. He took care of that by telling me: “When in doubt, stop. There’s no harm in stopping.” That was sage advice from my cousin, the driving guru. It has served me well on and off the road. There’s no harm in stopping, really. On the road, I’ve found that when I stop, other drivers figure out what to do. They’re much better drivers that I am anyway. And since I’m not in any kind of emergency, I might as well just wait.
The world tells us that we should be everywhere at once, do everything all the time and so we make choices and decisions without ever really thinking about them.I believe the rate of bad choices being made would be cut in half if we all just stopped and thought about things before jumping into them. Sometimes, if I’m not careful, I feel that I should get things done in a hurry and that I’ll be left behind if I don’t go at everybody else’s pace. But the truth is, 99% of the time, there is no hurry. Things are not as urgent as everybody else would have us believe. So whenever I come across a particularly difficult situation and feel pressured to make a decision, I hear my cousin’s voice in my head: “When in doubt, stop.” This particular lesson has not failed me yet.
Lesson No. 2: When lost, ask for help. I am, by far, the most spatially challenged person I know. I cannot read a map to save my life. It took me years to finally figure out how to park a car straight. (I still have problems with parallel parking, by the way!) I have gotten lost in so many places. But I have survived. Mostly through the kindness of strangers. I’ve found that people are generally willing to help whenever I ask them. No one has ever intentionally given me wrong directions. The only issue I’ve had with asking directions was that I was afraid it would make me look stupid. But I eventually got over that.
Most of the time, the problems we have are of our own making. I think I worry too much of being perceived as less capable which is why I find it difficult to ask for help. But getting lost many times has helped me accept the fact that I constantly need help. And that there’s nothing wrong in asking for it. Now, I find it much easier to ask for help whenever I get lost on the road or just need a hand in life.
Lesson No. 3: I hear people complain about how there can be so many rude and inconsiderate drivers out there: people who cut into your lane from the wrong side, people who don’t give way in incoming traffic, people who double park and not leave a note. But really, in the great scheme of things, there are so few of them compared to the drivers who do follow the rules and make life easier for others. It would be ideal if every one followed road courtesy but the truth is, some people just don’t. But to stress over every little thing that goes on while driving in the Philippines ,just takes too much effort. So, I’ve learned instead to focus on the good drivers: the ones who stop to let pedestrians cross and who stop to let others turn and the ones who follow rules conscientiously. Life’s too short to worry about the things we can’t control.
And that’s lesson no. 3. Just that: Life’s too short to worry about the things we can’t control whether we’re driving or living life.
And since Sunday is my favorite time to drive around, I’ll stop here. I’ve still got some driving to do.
Originally posted in ZenHabits.Net.
by Leo Baubata
I sat in a crowd of 45,000 about 10 days ago, watching super-billionaire investors Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger riff off each other and deliver quick wit and worldly wisdom about finances and life in general, at the famous Berkshire Hathaway Annual Shareholders Meeting in Omaha.
As I listened to these titans of the investing world, it struck me how content they are.
Not just content because they have all the riches in the world and all their needs met (they do), but because they understand fundamentals of contentment with life, which I believe is a superpower.
It was amazing to listen to these two masters talk about investing, but learn lessons in contentment throughout the investing advice.
Lessons in Contentment from Warren & Charlie
The key lessons:
1. “Find what turns you on.” Warren said this in response to a question about what advice he’d give to his younger self 50 years ago. He wasn’t talking about sex, but about what you do for a living. And while we’ve all heard “Do what you love”, it’s telling that this is the one thing he’d tell his younger self — it’s that important to happiness. If you do what turns you on, you will be much further along the road to contentment.
2. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. Charlie, who is impressively intelligent, said one of the big advantages that Berkshire Hathaway has had is that Warren & Charlie don’t need to worry about what everyone else is doing (in the investment world). Too many people get caught up in watching everyone else, and letting that influence them, that they lose their inner compass. Instead, figure out the guiding principles that matter the most to you, and let go of the need to check on what everyone else is doing, and the need to compare what you’re doing with everyone else.
3. Know your strengths. These two guys are very aware of their limitations — they almost never invest in tech companies, for example, because they don’t understand it well — and instead of feeling the need to go into their weak areas, they stay with their strong areas. They know what they’re strong at, and focus on that. Letting go of the need to do everything, and being happy with focusing on less, is an important contentment lesson.
4. Fewer and higher quality. Warren & Charlie have a “fewer is better” investment philosophy, where they aren’t nearly as active as your usual Wall Street investor… but they focus on a handful of really strong investments. Warren suggests that investors imagine they have a punchcard with 20 punch holes … once you make 20 investments in your lifestime, your punchcard is used up. If you did this, you’d really make them count. This is the guiding principle, btw, in my book The Power of Less. You don’t need more — instead, be more discerning, and happy with less.
5. Know what you like and forget the rest. Warren Buffet, one of the world’s wealthiest men, has a nice but modest house and a surprisingly modest Cadillac (that he drives himself), and eats at his favorite (but pretty ordinary) restaurants… he can afford much more extravagance, but forgoes it because he knows the simple things he likes in life. He could have much, much more, but knows that he doesn’t need it. How many of us do that? Just enjoy the things we like, and not worry about what else we could be enjoying, or what everyone else is enjoying.
There will be some who say, “Sure, it’s easy to be content when you’re rich and successful,” but I think this is missing the point. They are successful because of these lessons.
I learned that inspiration for contentment can be found in surprising places, including in Omaha, where everyone I met had a kind word for me, and a smile on their faces. I left with a smile myself.