Several years ago when I was still based at the Ateneo, a friend of mine kept singing this song to me. I don’t know why. She probably liked me. hahaha. But i do like the song, if only because it speaks of a seemingly unrequited love that is willing to wait and is willing to question the set rules and is willing to fight for love.

There are typical love stories–the ones written about in books and shown in movies. The ones where life is a struggle but we as readers and audience members know will end up happily. We root for them because we know that in some mysterious way, they are supposed to end up with each other.

But alas real life is not like that. We do not know who is supposed to end up with whom. And we give our best, HOPING that the love we have now is IT. That who we are with is THE ONE.

But we are in medias res and we do not have the benefit of a narrator to guide us on what the next step is going to be or where we should go or what we should do. And so we plod along because life is lived in stages.

It is not struggle all the way though. There is joy in realizing that things are beginning to fit–into a kahulugan*. There is joy in constant presence and countless happy moments. There is joy in making up after fights. There is joy in knowing that you are loved unconditionally by someone. There is happiness in knowing that at the end of the day, someone is waiting for you, asking how your day was, listening to the most mundane things that happened to you.

And those simple things, when you think about it, far outweigh all the rest. And you realize with the benefit of hindsight, that life is GOOD. That you’ve definitely come a long way.

And so you hold on and continue fighting. Together.

And continue walking.

* kahulugan is the Filipino word for MEANING; it comes from the root word “hulog” which means TO FALL. To find “kahulugan” then is really to “fall into place”.

If You’re Not the One
Daniel Bedingfield

If youre not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If youre not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
Well make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I dont want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If Im not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I dont need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I dont need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If youre not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If youre not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I dont know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
Well make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in youre the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I dont want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If Im not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
cause I love you, whether its wrong or right
And though I cant be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I dont want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If Im not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I…

1. Anything Less Than Mad Love is a Waste of Time
2. You’re Beautiful