In Your Hands

Wrote this sev­eral years ago in Sacred Heart Novi­tiate. My aunt who I called Mommy Nene, had just died of breast can­cer after suf­fer­ing for sev­eral months of pain and being in and out of the hospital.

This poem was a way to cap­ture an image in my child­hood: when I’d cry, and Mommy Nene would see me, she would hold me in her hands. And every time she does that, I would cry harder– because I felt she was on my side.

In Your Hands
(In Mem­ory of Mommy Nene)

I remem­bered when I was a whim­per­ing child
And you held me
In your hands.

Your strength gave strength
To my weak­ness
Love passed from heart
To heart
As you rerouted the tears
From my cheeks to your hands.

Your hands–
They hold laugh­ter and tears
Strength and warmth
Heal­ing and pain
And love.

Your hands–
They’re at it again.

Now they hold tears–
Your tears.
And pain–
Your pain.

I tried to hold you, but it was you who held me
In your hands.
Your weak­ness gave me strength.

Strange.
It seemed
Your pain only made your heart big­ger
Your tears only made love flow
Ever stronger.

I remem­ber that day you held me
In your hands.
And I turn into a whim­per­ing child
Once again.

1) Bread and Fishes
2) Mang­yari Lamang
3) The Lady at the Grotto Around 12 Mid­night
4) Peter’s Lament