Hate: Love Without the Details

I had a class on Islam with Fr. Rene Oliveros, SJ. Fr. Rene is a Jesuit whose mom is a Muslim. I learned a lot from that class. We had a chance to visit the Golden Mosque of Quiapo, which is supposed to be the major Mosque here in the Philippines. It was constructed during the Marcos Presidency by Imelda Marcos when President Qaddafi visited the country and needed a place to pray.

We were guests of a Muslim leader named Alim who was very gracious and kind to us. Alim is a friend of Lee, a Christian, whose work is with Muslim-Christian dialogue. We arrived around noontime of Friday during a major liturgical event in the Mosque.

This is a reflection paper I wrote after that visit.

Love Without the Details
Eric Santillan

For me, the visit to the Golden Mosque in Quiapo was an experience of other-ness. When we arrived, I was honestly afraid about going out of the van. I had this illogical fear that I realized was conditioned by years of stories, rumors and generalizations about Muslims.

Even if I did have a Tausug classmate back in high school and a Maranao classmate in my theo of liberation class in college, and even if I did spend some quality time with Muslim farmers in Cotabato during one of my summer apostolate assignments, I realized that something more subconscious and primal had been psychologically programmed in me: it was the illogical fear of being part of the minority. Of being a real visitor—even if welcome. Of being looked at as a stranger by what I thought were strangers. Of being a mere observant in the context of worship.

I now understand all the more what it means to make irrational generalizations about people we haven’t even met. They say that hate is really just love without the details. In a sense, Hate at its core is really mere laziness: hate is not trying hard enough to know more details about the situation before making judgments and decisions. If you hate someone, what detail or information about him/her or what part of his/her story do you need to know to make you change your mind?

It is indeed difficult to be part of a minority, something which I have taken for granted in this Christian country. I had this image of us being cats inside a cage full of German Shepherds. Scary.

Of course, things started to change when we got to talk to Alim and his group. When Alim started to speak, I could feel that he was really just trying to reach out to us and explain his religion in the best way he can. He was using a language he thought or felt we could all understand. It would be something I would do myself if asked about Christianity. I would think of terms and images that would make it understandable and “palatable” to people.

And yet, a lot of the things that were happening were things I could not really understand even if I was prepared for it. There were strange practices to me—in the same way that all the standing up and sitting down and lining up for communion (and eating the “white wafer”) of Catholics would be strange to an outsider.

If we really think about it, we all are strange to each other in some way. What we think of as “common sense” is not really so common after all. We are all some kind of Other to somebody else. Our belief that red wine is real blood of Christ certainly is strange to a non-Christian just as a we find someone who does not eat pork strange. Our saying that a historical man is really God is as strange (or even stranger!) as saying that a book was dictated by an angel from heaven.

When we see this, we realize that the challenge then is to try to live in tolerance of everyone. To postpone judgment until further understanding and more data is culled. Not to make hasty conclusions before explanations are made. Hate is love without the details. If you are afraid of someone or of a place, what detail or information about that person or place will make you understand and take away the fear?

For me, it was seeing the thousands of people who washed their hands and feet and faces, took off their shoes, before coming in to worship God that hot Friday noon. It was Alim trying to explain his religion. It was Lee living in harmony with people who, just like you and me, are trying to eke out a good livelihood and who just want a good life for their families. It was finally realizing that they’re worshipping the same God I worship.

It was finally realizing that in a very real way we are all strange to everybody else. But knowing that doesn’t make us strangers. It can actually make us friends.