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Steps in Decision Making

14 August 2008 4 Comments

This is the 5th part of the AngPeregrino Series on Decision-Making and Discernment. For the other parts to this Series, follow the links:

  1. Living in the Tensions: The Paradoxes of Life
  2. Living in the Tensions: On Discernment
  3. Notes on Decision Making
  4. Honing Your Intuition and Gut Feel
  5. Steps in Decision Making

This week, we will be talking about the actual steps in making decisions. While these are not foolproof, you are assured of making an informed decision when you follow these steps. Remember, intuition comes in all steps of this decision-making process. It is important to allow your gut feel to guide you.

1) Pose the Discernment Question or the Question for Decision Making.
Make it as objective as possible. Ask yourself something answerable by yes or no.

“Should I become a doctor/lawyer?”
“Should I marry this person or not?”
“Should I work in this company?”

2) Gather Data

  • Look at yourself: your talents, your abilities, your weaknesses. Be very honest.
  • Examine your motivations: why am I attracted to this choice in the first place? What can I get out of it?
  • Pinpoint the issues and activities that excite you, make you feel alive, and energizes you.
  • What is it that makes you really happy?
  • Seek counsel. Other people might see your situation more objectively. Ask people who have gone through what you’re going through.

    • 3) Weigh the Pros and Cons

  • List down pros and cons of one option. Immerse yourself in that option.
  • List down pros and cons of the other option. Immerse yourself in that option.
  • Pray about these options.
  • Use the power of imagination: imagine yourself in the situation where you are living out the option already. Notice the feelings and ideas that come to you when you think about it in your imagination.

    • 4) Gripping Conviction

  • After a certain point, a gripping conviction is felt towards one option. It’s an intuitive feel that one option is better than the other/s, or that one option is RIGHT at this point than the others. Sometimes, this step is a no-brainer. At other times, it takes a while to get to this gripping conviction. The important thing is to have the courage to act on this gripping conviction.

    • 5. Make a Tentative Decision Subject for Confirmation

  • Act and live as if you are already living out what you have decided.

    • Some Reminders:

  • Never make any decision when you are overly distressed.
  • Also do not make any decisions when you are overly happy.
  • Discernment is done in quiet, in calmness, and in the context of prayer.
  • Be wary of external signs. Sometimes, we can delude ourselves into thinking that external signs point to one decision and we can focus on “signs” instead of going through the steps listed above or listening to our feelings and intuition. The “signs” are within you: your feelings, your gut instinct, the data you have gathered, the things you want to do but cannot explain. Listen to these more than external signs.
  • If, a few days after making the decision, you find yourself feeling troubled, sad or unhappy (even after having done all that you can: after going through all the steps in the discernment process), then by all means, stick by your decision still. That does NOT mean that you have made the wrong decision. But if after a long time (say, 6 months or 1 year), you are still NOT at peace, then you must think about discerning about it again.
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    4 Comments »

    • lorna nena said:

      I think this and all the rest that you have written about discernment and decision will help me and also a friend who is discerning and eventually deciding to change career. Thanks a lot!

      # 14 August 2008 at 9:02 am
    • -Ang Peregrino- (author) said:

      thanks for reading! :-)

      # 16 August 2008 at 1:24 pm
    • shiko-chan said:

      But if after a long time (say, 6 months or 1 year), you are still NOT at peace…

      …or 3 years, going on 4. :p

      thanks, eric. i can only hope even the wrong choices still make for a good result after all…

      (yes, i’m pretty sure now it was a very, very wrong choice for me… :)

      # 23 August 2008 at 10:18 pm
    • -Ang Peregrino- (author) said:

      hmmm…

      yeah, i believe that in the end, nothing is ever wasted–our experiences, our “wrong” choices–all these are supposed to make us better, or at least more experienced individuals.

      that’s all theoretical though, unless you live it. hehe

      # 24 August 2008 at 3:37 pm

    Whatchathink?!

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