Onli in the Pilipins: Creative Business Names in the Philippines

Filipinos are known the world over for being cre­ative. Our humor comes out even in the dark­est of sit­u­a­tions and the bleak­est of times. Nowhere else is this more evi­dent than in the really funny names of busi­ness estab­lish­ments around the coun­try. This is a bid to get peo­ple to come to their stores, at least once. Now to keep the peo­ple happy and sat­is­fied and keep com­ing back is not depen­dent on the names anymore.

1. Par­lor in San Juan is named “Cut & Face”.
2. Whole­saler of balut in Sto.Tomas, Batan­gas: “Star­ducks”.
3. Fast food eatery in Nueva Ecija: “Violy­bee” (a play on the more pop­u­lar fast­food joint Jol­libee)
4. Inter­net cafe opened among squat­ters named “Cafe Pin­dot”.
5. In Manila , there’s a laun­dry named, “Summa Cum Laun­dry”.
6. A pet shop in Kamuning: “Pakita Mo Pet Mo” (in Fil­ipino this is a green joke. It means SHOW ME YOUR…)
7. One of my favorites. Bank in Ala­bang: Would you deposit your money in “Ala­bank”?
8. Restau­rant in Pam­panga named, “Mekeni Rogers”.
9. Restau­rant in Pasig : “Johnny’s Fried Chicken: The ‘Fried’ of Marik­ina”.
10. A tomb­stone maker in Antipolo: “Lito Lap­ida”. (Lito Lapid was a pop­u­lar action star in the Philip­pines, and Lap­ida means tomb­stone maker.)
11. A copy cen­ter in Sikatuna Vil­lage called “Pakopya ni Edgar”. (A Fil­ipino band is named Parokya ni Edgar or “Edgar’s Parish”)
12. A beer­house in Cavite called, “Chick­point” .
13. Laun­dro­mat in Sikatuna: “Star Wash : Attack of the Clothes”.
14. Inter­net cafe in Taguig named, “n@kopi@”. (nakopia is Fil­ipino for Was Copied. This is a play on the more pop­u­lar net cafe NETOPIA)
15. Name of a kambin­gan, “Sa Goat Kita”.
16. A salon some­where, “Curl Up And Dye”.
17. A lugawan in Sta. Maria, Bula­can: “Gee Con­gee”. (There’s an actress named G Tongi)
18. A water refill­ing sta­tion in Dap­i­tan named “Wa-Thirst”.
19. A store sell­ing feeds for chick­ens: “Robo­cock”.
20. Shoe repair in Marik­ina : “Dr. Shoe-Bago”.
21. The ulti­mate play on words– Shoe repair store along Com­mon­wealth, “SHOEPERMAN: we will HEEL you, save your SOLE, and even DYE for you”.
22. Pet­shop: “Pet­ness First” (from Fit­ness First, a pop­u­lar gym in the Philip­pines)
23. Flower shop: “Susan’s Roses”. (Susan Roces was the wife of the King of Philip­pine Cin­ema, one time Pres­i­den­tial Can­di­date Fer­nando Poe Jr.)
24. Taxi­cab: “Income Taxi”.
25. A 2^nd hand watch store: “2^nd Time Around”.
26. A squid stall in a wet mar­ket: “Pusit to the Limit”. (Pusit is the Fil­ipino word for squid)

27. A shrimp store: “Hipon Com­ing Back”. (yeah, you guessed right, hipon is the Fil­ipino word for shrimp)
28. A ceil­ing installer: “Kisame Street”. (ditto)
29. A car repair shop: “Bangga ka ‘day?” (bangga is to have an acci­dent)
30. An aquatic pet store in Mal­o­los: “Fish Be With You”.
31. A beauty salon: “Saudia Hair­lines”.
32. A bak­ery: “Anak Ng Tina­pay”.
33. A resto along Mayon road in Manila : “May Lisa Eatery”.
34. Laun­dry shop: “Wash Your Prob­lem”.
35. Ice cream par­lor: “Dila Lang Ang Kat­a­pat”. (really hard to trans­late this…)
36. Chicharon store: “Chicha Hut”.
37. Neigh­bor­hood pizza store: “Pizza Hot”.
38. A bar­ber­shop in Cagayan de Oro: “Pinoy Big Bar­ber”. (after the Fil­ipino Big Brother ver­sion)
39. A Resto: “The Last Sup­per”.
40. A goto resto: “Goto Ko Pa!” (play on the words GUSTO KO PA, which means “I want some more”)
41. A gym in Mal­o­los: “Gay­mann Fit­ness Cen­ter”.
42. My brother’s party needs busi­ness: “Balloon-Balloonan”. (there’s a Fil­ipino street food named balun-balunan)
43. A Chi­nese restau­rant in Pasig : “Lah-Fang”.
44. A store sell­ing fresh chicken, owned by woman named Dina: “Dina Fresh Chicken”. (“di na” means no longer, so go fig­ure)
45. Salon: “Hair Dot Comb”.
46. Sig­nage on a restau­rant: “We are open 25 hrs. a day — no lunch/dinner breaks!“
47. A flower shop near UPVil­lage — “Petal Attrac­tion“
48. Bake shop — “Bread Pit“
49.. Where you go at the end of your life — “Funer­aria Mabuhay” (hahaha!)
50. Ice Cream Stand — “Chill­ing Me Softly”