Miracles Have Happened

I am reprint­ing the homily of Fr. Benny Calputora to my batch of Jesuit novices when we took our First Vows in 2001. There were 15 of us who entered the Jesuit Novi­tiate in Sacred Heart Novi­tiate in May 30, 1999. Some of us–Jude Alban, Aldrie Lim, Ald­win Mahusay, Louis Tin Maung Oo, Renel Dimacali, Eman Nobleza–have left, and the oth­ers have remained. The main bulk of those who have remained will be ordained this com­ing September.

Voca­tion is a mys­tery, and we will never know what is in store for all of us. We make brave promises, and hope and pray that we are men enough to live up to these promises. But many things come into the pic­ture, new data we never saw before, new real­iza­tions about self and life, and we end up turn­ing back on our promises.

Does that mean we who left are less brave? I do not know. It takes a spe­cial kind of grace to live the Jesuit life. It also takes a spe­cial kind of grace to admit to your­self that the life you know–the life peo­ple have expected you to live– is really not for you.

In the end, as Fr. Benny prophet­i­cally says, mir­a­cles have hap­pened. And we are all still here.

by Fr. Venan­cio S. Calpo­tura, S.J.
Homily for First Vows, Sacred Heart Novi­tiate
Feast of the Vis­i­ta­tion, 31 May 2001

Mir­a­cles have hap­pened. The whole focus of the feast today is the meet­ing of two preg­nant women. One, a vir­gin is now with child; the other, a woman known to be bar­ren is also with child. The Holy Spirit must have been really busy. When they do meet, there is a spon­ta­neous song of thanks­giv­ing that fills the air: “My soul mag­ni­fies the Lord … My spirit rejoices in God my Sav­ior … He who is mighty has done great things for me.… ”

Con­tem­plat­ing the scene of the vis­i­ta­tion, one won­ders why these two women became preg­nant. Why the mir­a­cles of chil­dren? What is com­mon to both of them that God will choose them to be chan­nels through whom will flow sal­va­tion his­tory. From them will come the Pre­cur­sor and the Messiah.

One ele­ment that Mary and Eliz­a­beth held in com­mon is their deep sen­si­tiv­ity to God’s move­ments in their lives. The real­ity of God was ever before them. Yah­weh is a God who acts and enters deeply into human his­tory and con­stantly directs it. The call to be part of sal­va­tion his­tory is actu­ally felt and responded to in the every­day invi­ta­tions of Yah­weh ever sen­si­tiz­ing us to his pres­ence. Their con­tem­pla­tive stance made them per­fect recip­i­ents of God’s call.

Another ele­ment com­mon to both women is that they knew how to gam­ble with their lives. Each had to con­tend with her present sit­u­a­tion and rep­u­ta­tion in order to bring about the ful­fill­ment of God’s will. Eliz­a­beth would have to bear the snide remarks of neigh­bors and rel­a­tives who knew she was bar­ren. Mary had to face Joseph’s wrath and total lack of under­stand­ing. Both could eas­ily have been dis­graced by their preg­nan­cies. But, they said their “yes.” Bahala na ang Diyos. Basta!

A third ele­ment is that both women were dream­ers. Their dreams were big­ger than they were. Their dreams were as big as Israel. They wanted the lib­er­a­tion of their peo­ple, Israel. Their sons will bear the same dreams in their own lives and pur­sue them to their deaths.

These elements-the sen­si­tiv­ity to God’s invi­ta­tion, the abil­ity to gam­ble with life, and the pur­suit of dreams for one’s people-are the brew that allows mir­a­cles to happen.

My dear broth­ers and sis­ters, this after­noon the mir­a­cle mix is being stirred before us. Another mir­a­cle is about to hap­pen before us in the per­sons of our nine vovendi. My only des­per­ate hope is that their preg­nan­cies do not show too much and are man­i­fested in a dif­fer­ent way. We have before us nine young men who through the past two years have explic­itly and con­sciously asked for the grace of “sen­tir.” They have begged and will con­tinue to beg for that deep inte­rior knowl­edge of Christ every­day of their lives. Their way of pro­ceed­ing will be by dis­cern­ment, con­stantly sens­ing and seek­ing for God’s will. Only one thing matters-to fol­low this Christ-wherever he would lead them. So that at the end of their lives, there is only one boast that will issue from their lips-I know the Lord, I have sensed him, I have lived with him.

Here before us are men who will gam­ble with their lives. The stakes are high-perpetual, for­ever, hang­gang sa dulo ng walang hang­gan. For the past year, they have been plagued by many doubts regard­ing the vows. Why will I promise to love poverty when I have worked against it? Why celibacy-what about the girls I never loved before? Why obe­di­ence when one basic ideal of per­son­hood is to set my own goals and accom­plish them? Eto na nga, low self esteem na ako, ganyan pa ang ipa­pan­gako ko? Ano kaya kung sabi­hin ng Diyos pag­naka­harap ko siya-hindi naman kailan­gan, e … pero. Baka mali. Yet, there is that inner urge to throw cau­tion to the wind, to gam­ble with every­thing one has in one fell swoop. To be like God in generosity-filled, shaken, flow­ing over. Ha, here is the begin­ning of greatness!

Here before us are men who will promise to dream God’s dreams. To let go of their petty, self-serving wishes and take on the wide dimen­sions of God’s desires. To dream about fight­ing under the stan­dard of Christ in the thick of the bat­tle. To dream about the King­dom as it is implanted in the hearts of peo­ple in many places in many lands. To dream about labor­ing with him and slowly shap­ing a new cre­ation. To dream new dreams as big as the universe-a new heaven and a new earth.

My dear friends, the mir­a­cle is about to hap­pen. These nine weak young men will find the strength of war­riors to promise ever­last­ing fealty to their Lord and God. And God will reach down with tremen­dous com­pas­sion and love fill­ing up what is lack­ing in them for his ser­vice. The bond will be tied between Cre­ator and crea­ture, between Mas­ter and friend, between son and Father. With the vows, one becomes “reli­gare” bound to God-a reli­gious, a Jesuit. We are priv­i­leged to be wit­nesses to this mys­tery of the vis­i­ta­tion of God’s love.

My dear vovendi:

There are no end­ings to mir­a­cles. You will be reminded of this fact at the end of the cer­e­monies when you are handed your vow cru­ci­fixes na gal­ing pa sa Roma: “May God who began this good work in you bring it to com­ple­tion.” There­fore, be espe­cially sen­si­tive to these par­tic­u­lar areas of your lives where God is con­tin­u­ing to work his miracle.

As I have accom­pa­nied you through your novi­tiate, I would like to high­light for you the par­tic­u­lar marks of God’s pres­ence in your lives:

First, remem­ber that it is God who fills up your acknowl­edged inad­e­qua­cies. Alam ko naman ang grupong ito, maski na low self esteem, may angk­ing yabang pa rin. For a num­ber of you, God started to move in your lives when you hit rock bot­tom and knelt before God in deep­est humil­ity. Till now, your inner beings still thrill at the def­i­n­i­tion of Jesuit iden­tity as “a sin­ner yet called.”

Another fun­da­men­tal expe­ri­ence that unleashed God’s power in a num­ber of you was when you real­ized that you have to live your own lives. Ful­fill­ing the expec­ta­tions and desires of oth­ers is not the end all and be all of life. What is cru­cial is that you take what­ever free­dom you pos­sess and use it to live your own life mak­ing deci­sions for your­self. This call to inte­rior free­dom is nec­es­sary in order to be an “instru­men­tum con­junc­tum Deo.”

A third area of vis­i­ta­tion for some of you was the dis­cov­ery of God’s pres­ence not in the great and tremen­dous, but in the ordi­nary, the every­day. As Eli­jah learned: Yah­weh is not in the thun­der and light­ning, nor in the earth­quake and the fire. He is in that gen­tle breeze, in that lit­tle voice that comes from deep within. Great­ness is not found in cur­ing every­one nor in preach­ing ser­mons to an admir­ing crowd. Sanc­tity is found in the faith­ful per­for­mance of man­u­alia and laborandum-activities that this group dearly loves.

A last area of novi­tiate life that made man­i­fest God’s inter­ven­tion is found in that strong and warm embrace of the Father that many expe­ri­enced in this group, espe­cially in prayer. A steady faith­ful pres­ence of God was enough to give guid­ance and direc­tion to fal­ter­ing steps and weak­en­ing knees. The Prodi­gal Father was con­stantly there to give encour­age­ment, sup­port and affirmation.

These have been God’s entry points-visitations-in the lives of the vovendi. Coop­er­a­tion with this grace-presence makes pos­si­ble the mir­a­cles we are to wit­ness this after­noon. Such mir­a­cles will not end this after­noon; they will con­tinue into the future.

Let us pray there­fore, not only that we be touched by these mir­a­cles but that they hap­pen in our lives too. Let us pray also for the vovendi: may the “Mag­ni­fi­cat” be ever on their lips and in their hearts, that great things may con­tinue to hap­pen in them and for our people.